


Back to you

by My_Evak_Heart



Series: Crisana [3]
Category: SKAM (Spain)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:20:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Evak_Heart/pseuds/My_Evak_Heart
Summary: Cris pay Joana a visit





	Back to you

It was almost 9pm when the doorbell went off, making Joana sigh. She wasn’t expecting any visit on Wednesday night…nor at any moment. It wasn’t like she had any friends. The only person she knew at school were Cris and Eloy - who were both pissed at her at the moment.

Did her mom forget her keys again?

Sighing, Joana quit the comfort of her bed and paddled slowly to the door, purple hair tied in a messy ponytail and baggy tee covering half her thigh, black shorts peeking underneath. She  unlocked the door and twisted it open, not expecting to see Cris standing there.

“Cris?”

The blonde smiled shyly under the hood of her hoodie. “Hi.”

“Hi… What are you doing here?”

“I know I should’ve called first but…can I come in?”

Joana looked over her shoulder, glancing at the clock on the wall, calculating how long left before her mother would return. Before leaving the house, the woman had been strict about having no guests over but, Joana really wanted to see Cris and was ready to deal with the consequences of disobeying her mother’s rules.

Entering Joana’s bedroom, Cris immediately spotted the large desk in the back, furrowing her eyebrows when seeing no laptop or phone in sight. Only textbooks, pencils and scattered drawings. Joana was right, her mother had taken away all form of contact with the outside from her. She walked over, noticing a couple drawings of herself, smiling when seeing a girl with purple hair next to her on the paper. She reached to pick it up but Joana’s voice stopped her.

“Wanna sit?”

The blonde turned around and joined Joana on the bed, keeping enough distance between them. Sitting there, Cris felt like they were back to being complete strangers, as if they have never kissed or shared a bed for a whole weekend. The change of mood from the last time they sat on a bed was drastic. One week they were all over each other, kissing and invading each other’s personal space and the next, they were avoiding any contact at all cost, as if one of them was extremely contagious.

The thought of their downfall formed a lump in Cris’s stomach. She felt so much for Joana, it made her heart ache her to think they had come to this. Cris wanted nothing more than to feel Joana against her, kiss her lips and trace over the dark outlines of her weird tattoos.

“Do you want to watch a movie? I believe we still have popcorn in the pantry,” Joana suggested.

“I came here to talk, Joana, not to watch a movie.”

The purple haired girl looked down, apprehending what was to come. After dropping a two bombs on Cris - the ‘I love you’ and the borderline personality disorder -, Joana knew she and Cris would have to talk someday, but she wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. “Okay…”

“I wanted to apologize for not saying anything on Saturday after you told me about having BPD. I should’ve said something, anything but…I was too shocked and confused to speak.”

“I shouldn’t have told you that. I wanted to reassure you but all I did was scare you away.”

Cris shook her head. “No. I’m glad you told me, I’m touched that you trust me with this kind of personal information. I’m not going to lie, the last week was tough emotionally and mentally. The girl who just confessed her feelings to me had ran away and wasn’t answering my calls or messages. I thought you were done with me because I didn’t say it back. I was hoping to talk to you last Monday but Pedro told me you were going to be absent for a couple days. This radio silence was killing me. I was worried and then angry and sad too. I even messaged Eloy-”

Joana bit her lip anxiously, scared of what Eloy had told her. He didn’t know about her BPD but he couldn’t have told good things to Cris. He was so pissed when Joana ended their relationship. “You talked to  _Eloy_?”

“Yeah. I mean, I was desperate to hear from you.”

“I’m sorry, Cris. Like I said, my mom had confiscated my phone and-”

“I _know_ , I know now.” She paused, glancing at Joana, silently telling her it was okay. “I…I thought you were playing me. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Tears welled up in Cris’s blue eyes, making Joana feel guilty for - again - causing pain to the girl she liked-  _loved_.

“Cris, I wanted to reach out to you, so bad. I just didn’t have any ways to. I had to steal my phone back from where my mom had hidden it to read your texts. When I saw all the messages and missed calls, I felt like a text would be shitty so I had to sneak out to see you and explain everything before I lose the girl I love.”

“You can’t say that,” Cris said, shaking her head, refusing to hear her words.

Joana furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Say what?”

“That you  _love_  me! Joana, we’ve been dating for  _one_  week. I barely know you, you barely know me. I don’t understand how you can feel this way so soon.”

“Me either, but I do.  _I love you_ , Cris. I love you so much and I’m sorry if I scared you with my premature feelings or made you feel pressured to say it back, it really wasn’t my intention. I didn’t say it to hear it back, I said it because I felt it and wanted you to know.”

Cris’s heart felt full. She had never felt so much love from someone before. When she got into a relationship with Joana, she didn’t think it would bloom into something so strong so fast. Dating a girl was a foreign territory for her and Cris was a bit uncertain at first, a multitude of question marks flashing in bright red in her head. What if this is a mistake? What if Joana is planning to toy with her heart? What if I’m not really into girls?

Ignoring her doubts, Cris jumped head first and, although she went through a lot of pain because of her, she didn’t regret anything that happened with Joana. Not a kiss, not a touch, not a moment,  _nothing_.

Cris’s silence was making Joana nervous, fearing this was going to be it. She toyed with her hands, nails digging into her palms, a bad habit caused by her anxiety. “I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I deserve it…”

“Joana,” Cris said, catching the other girl’s attention. Joana looked up, dark irises meeting Cris’s big, beautiful ones. Not knowing how to say what she wanted to say, Cris crawled closer on the bed until she could feel Joana’s jerky breath on her face and kissed her.

Instinctively, Joana cupped Cris’s face with her palm, caressing her cheek gently as their lips moved against each other. It wasn’t a hurried or horny kiss, it was soft and loving, slow and relieving.

With one last kiss, Joana pulled the blonde against her, hugging her tightly. She had missed Cris so much while being confined at home. She had missed her soft giggles, her froggy eyes and her signature vanilla scent.

“Joana? I’m home.” The front door echoed shut. “Why is there white sneakers in the entry?”

The two girls pulled away at the woman’s voice, straightening up, waiting for Joana’s mom to come in and realize her daughter had someone over when she was not allowed to.

“Joana- What is she doing here? I thought I had been clear about having no guests over, Joana…”

“I…Mom, this is Cris. She is a friend from school, we’re Literature partners. I called her with the landline to ask for her help with a Literature homework. She was in the neighborhood so she came over.”

Cris smiled politely and Joana’s mother pulled her eyebrows. “Couldn’t it have waited till tomorrow?” she asked. “Do you know what time it is?”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Bianchi,” Cris apologized, faking a guilty look. “I just wanted to help Joana. It mustn’t be easy to change school in the middle of the school-year.”

Joana’s mother thanked Cris for her help and reminded Joana that her bedtime was in half an hour to which the purple haired girl rolled her eyes.

“She’s so annoying,” Joana sighed, falling back on her pillows the second her mother had left and closed the door. “She’s been breathing down my neck since I was diagnosed.”

Cris joined Joana against the pillows, settling comfortable next to her. “Parents are annoying.”

It didn’t take long for their lips to find their way back together, slowly kissing as they laid on their sides. Joana’s fingers played with Cris’s silky blond hair while Cris’s slid under her shirt, pulling Joana closer and closer.

“Can I stay here tonight?”

Joana nodded against her lips, mumbling a soft 'yes’, not bothering asking her mother. She was already confined inside with no phone or laptop, what else could she take from her?

Cris sat up and removed her hoodie to be more comfortable, revealing a black tee shirt with a pink line in the middle. Joana raised her eyebrows, recognizing the piece of clothing. “My shirt looks better on you,” she remarked, making her girlfriend blush.

“Sorry… I just- I missed you,” Cris admitted, a little embarrassed. “Do you want it back?”

Shaking her head, Joana told her to keep it. She has plenty other shirts.


End file.
